Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Why do narcissists avoid talking about the real issues?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Does the National Health Service (NHS) in the United Kingdom diagnose rare conditions? If so, does it provide treatment for them as well?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t buy bullshit

Why do most men who date ugly women brag like it's some big accomplishment, when any guy can pull an ugly woman?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I can count

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Why is Tiananmen Square censored?

I can read

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Why is the Middle East prone to terrorism?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Why do a lot of women have a crush on my boyfriend when they know he is in a relationship with me? I am starting to feel insecure too. What should I do?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I understand how hurricane paths work

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Why is the First Amendment referred to as a right to free speech instead of an immunity from punishment for one's words, regardless of their truthfulness?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Why do liberals and Democrats think it’s “ironic” for Donald Trump to say “We have to get back to law and order”?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for fakery

What are some cool confidence hacks?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

How do I maintain and care for granite countertops in a coastal climate like Pompano Beach?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I actually pay taxes

If a non-LGBT man (of any age) from a Western country attracts far more mosquitoes than potential dates, what does that say about him?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Ex-PlayStation exclusive Stellar Blade smashes God of War, The Last of Us and Spider-Man with Steam debut - Video Games Chronicle

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know who the president of Turkey really is

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I see through liars

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”